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388 days ago
JizzSquid - YARGH! It be me Moby Boner!
Newest Episode: Thu February 19, 2009. 01:30 PM
JizzSquid - YARGH! It be me Moby Boner! JizzSquid.com
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Tue January 29, 2008. 02:51 AM
Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

Because some friends know how to keep a secret …

·Cali (babesmachine.com)

·Cassia Watson (youngmodelz.com)

·Cindy (attuworld.com)

·Elle (babeslog.net)

·Franchezca Valentina (thesexblog.com)

·Jenni Kohoutova (kindgirls.com)

·Karrie Jacobs (peachesfantasy.com)

·Lucy (labatidora.net)

·Molly (go-girls-go.com)

·Orsi (babesdiary.com)

·Peach (mybigtitsbabes.com)

·Prescilla (nakedbabes.ws)

·Renata (johndx.com)

·Sophie Moone (theomegaproject.org)

·Vivian (hq69.com)

·Zoe Britton (100bucksbabes.com)

* * * * *



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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

Today’s most popular stories are



SCANDAL



(4,548 views)



BABES



(2,037 views)



EXTREME



(915 views)

Today’s most discussed stories are

Flesh Flicks: Smurf Me! (3 comments), Send In The Eels: A Genki Diary (1) and Basshunter’s Orgy: This Week In Scandinavian Pop Star Sex Scandals (1).



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Mon January 28, 2008. 09:07 PM
Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

This video is one of those internet finds that horrifies and confuses us, yet somehow make our entire existence worthwhile. Every time you think it’s reached the absolute height of ridiculousness, it somehow scales to a new sublime peak … and then goes higher still. Not to oversell it, but we think we can say without hyperbole that this is the greatest thing ever made in the history of all time. We now present you Smurf Porn … in Spanish! If only the damage to your cherished childhood memories could be wiped away as easily as that blue paint.

·“Smurf FuckFest” (RedTube)

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

Married couples are notoriously un-motivated in the sack, but could it really be the men who are most likely to shut down sexually after marriage? Thousands of stand up comedy routines could depend on the answer! (newsday.com)



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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

As you know quite well by now (and if not, where the heck have you been?) Keeley Hazell is a force of nature. She’s gone from simple Page 3 girl to internationally-known uberbabe and back again and taken the world by storm in the process. Not bad for someone who doesn’t do much more than stand in front of the camera and look ridiculously hot. Still, every time we think that Keely-fatigue might finally set in, someone else catches the wave and washes overboard with her hottness. FHM, who is no stranger to the Hazell charms, is devoting seven entire days to posting photos and videos—most of which, they claim, are previously unseen—in a futile attempt to corner the market on all things Hazell.

While the photos may be unseen, the gimmick is not, but we are certainly not going to complain about anything that makes the world more Keeley-friendly. We’re still hoping they’ll find a way to make the whole solar system Keely-centric, but our scientists say that technology might be a few years off.

·Keeley Week - Day Three (fhm.com)



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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

This movie is not the Porn equivalent of “Kill Bill”. It”s not even the porn equivalent of “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls”. It”s just a porn movie unfettered by notions of its own importance … which, after “>AVN week, is a big relief. (And it also features the return of Mr. Thermopyles!)

Read our review after the gap.

. . .

Studio: Wicked Director: Mark Stone Cast: Lindsey Meadows, Prseley Maddox, April ASubrey, Jayme Langford, Kayla Carrera, Kissy Kapri, Nikki Kane, Ryann Reynolds, Evan Stone, Marco Banderas, Nick Manning, Randy Spears, Marco Banderas

Review by Gram Ponante

There”s a dance party for the nurses, and they”ll do anything to win. Even resort to sex and martial arts.

It”s movies like Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go that remind us that the rental of two or three skimpy nurses” outfits spread over eight or so women on different shooting days is really all it takes to satisfy the Porn consumer”s need for a narrative.

This movie is just about pointless, but is light and charming regardless. A vignette film not featuring any of Wicked”s female contract stars, it has the feel of a movie that has little to prove and little to lose.

This inspires some serious hammy acting from three of the four hammiest actors in Porn: Randy Spears, Evan Stone, and Nick Manning (Steven St. Croix couldn”t make it) who reappears as Mr. Thermopyles for no other reason than to refer to his character in the third person.

We meet various nurses over the course of the movie, and each informs her patient that there”s a dance that night. Somehow kung fu is incorporated.

One gets the impression that there were some extra props lying around, some money was freed up, and Nick Manning happened to be driving by. “Hey! Let”s make a movie!”

Porn consumers familiar with the work of the late Jim Holliday might see similarities in this movie directed by Mark Stone, in that there are nurses. Unlike Holliday”s work, however, there is little scripted dialogue. The viewer can enjoy scenes of pretty women in nurses” uniforms without sitting through a self-important plot.

“Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go” is not an importantPorn movie; it”s just fun.

·Wicked Pictures (wickedpictures.com) · Buy “Kung Fu Nurses A Go-Go” (gamelink.com

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

“Arousal, Will Robinson.”

Marital Aids that look like they came from Space are an important part of our cultural footprint. Now, a Japanese company called Erotic Embrace has unleashed its Wabi series of vibrators, a group that is not only phthalate free but also hewn from a substance new to the world of adult novelties: Elastomer!

Read more after the gap.

. . .

Like the favored poison in a James Bond film, Elastomer fans praise it for being “non-porous, and odorless, with no taste.” Indeed, the Wabi we received is not one of those discreet bits of erotic machinery one can secret in her handbag and rub one out with on the train. Instead, it looks almost exactly like the robot in “Lost in Space”, but for your vagina.

“You really have to commit to something like that,” our test subject said. “It”s not the little cool accessory. You almost have to walk around with it hanging out of your vadge, because there”s no hiding it.”

The Wabi”s business end is neither flaccid nor turgid, and it does feel like some ridged packing material rather than the Cyberskin oily rigidness we”re used to. But it does the job.

“At first it felt flimsy,” our subject said, “and it does have a flimsy base. But the vibration is solid and there isn”t the smell or residue like some of that other stuff you gave me.”

“Let”s not be graphic. It”s not that kind of site.”

“I”m just saying I”m going to keep this one.”

·Buy the Wabi (joyhollywoodwholesale.com)

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Wed January 23, 2008. 09:31 PM
Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

There are few things in this world hotter than traffic violations. That”s why male and female officers are so rarely teamed up to check out license plate numbers, registration tags and curb heights. Writing tickets together creates such a sexually-charged atmosphere that they will inevitably end up fucking in the back of the police van. (Just think of all the overtime!) Even worse, citizen patrols (who are also interested in the erotic potential of no parking zones) will inevitably follow and issue their own “citations” on the officers who have no doubt allowed their meters to expire. Maybe the next time these cops catch some silly teenagers necking in the back seat up at Inspiration Point, they”ll have a little more sympathy.

. . .

·“German Police officers fucking in van” (RedTube)

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

If you”re one of those people who never really believed Adriana Lima”s claim that she was ignorant in the ways of lovemaking, perhaps you”ll believe it when you hear that her (alleged) former fiancé, Lenny Kravitz, says that he himself hasn”t had sex in three years. And he calls himself a rock and roll star? (nypost.com)

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

And while we”re spending allthistime with some of our tried-and-true crush objects today (sorry, this cold weather sorta makes us feel nostalgic), may we mention the fact that Keeley”s back too? Well, sorta: she appears mostly clothed in the latest Zoo Weekly, but this recent dry spell of hers was so bad we”ll take what we can get. (cameltap.com + zooweekly.co.uk)

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

One reason why we love Sasha Grey so much around these parts is because she”s the type of gal who won”t take no trash talkin” from nobody … unless of course you shell out the thirty bucks or so to take “Total Interactive Control” of her, in which case you can pretty much talk all the trash to her that you want. Just don”t be too surprised when she answers back. (DVD review @ adult.dvdempire.com)

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Wed January 23, 2008. 05:55 PM
Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

After our hastily composed and thoroughly unresearched post on French First Mistress Carla Bruni yesterday, we though we should be more responsible bloggers and provide more context to this story. So we spent most of our morning learning about Nikolas Sarkozy”s labor polices and his plans to integrate France”s highly unionized workforce into the more progressive social framework of the European Union”s burgeoning service economy. Just kidding! We were totally searching for nude photos of his girlfriend. As a former glamour model, Carla certainly has plenty in her portfolio and though you wouldn”t have much trouble finding them on your own, we”ve gathered a healthy sample for you after the jump. Admit it—this is much more educational than whatever they”re talking about CNN International.

. . .

·French Supermodel Not Coming To India (steami.com) ·Free Carla Bruni Galleries (celebrity-collection.com, via kellyfind.com) ·Carla Bruni Pictures (carlabruni.co.uk) ·Nude pictures of Carla Bruni (starz.ru) ·Carla Bruni (Wikipedia)

* * * * *

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

China has shut down another “real-time” Porn site (which we guess means there was a webcam on it somewhere), thus adding to the 44,000 (!) sites shut down and the 868 people who were arrested last year in their continued internet crackdown. But hey, how about those Olympics? Those should be fun, huh? (sciam.com)

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

An early Mardi Gras and nipply nippy temperatures down here in New Orleans this year means that we may not be seeing as much boob flashing in the coming weeks as we”ve become accustomed to. Good thing there are plenty of other places around the world where we can still see as much boob flashing as we want … though is too much ever enough? (webpark.ru, via sexblo.gs + edgargonzalez.com)

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Longtime readers of Fleshbot know that we like keeping our eyes on the whereabouts of the delectable Dita Von Teese (really, who doesn”t?), and in the two months or so since we had occasion to post something about her it seems that she”s been busy getting signed as the new face of Wonderbra — though we have a feeling it wasn”t exactly her face that qualified her for the gig — and will be collaborating with Victoria”s Secret on a a signature line of dainties for the company. It”s a pretty shrewd marketing move all around, especially since it”ll give us all an excuse to look at even more pictures of Dita in frilly underthings. Maybe we should start subscribing to that catalogue again?

·“Dita Von Teese designs new Wonderbra” (w/gallery @ styledash.com)

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Worrywarts are up in arms over Mass Effect, the video game they say is filled with sex and alien nudity. Except it isn”t. But why let something like the actual content of game get in the way of a good TV argument. Oh, and if you can scare folks with a gratuitous and completely irrelevant Porn reference, that always helps too. (news.com.au + pcworld.com)

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

Planning to spend the next four years making money as a “President” John Edwards impersonator? Well, things don”t look too good for you right now, but there”s still hope to be found on Craigslist—”I am willing to let you do anything you want with my ass, as long as you let me call you Mr. Edwards and you dress up in a suit.” Just make sure the real thing doesn”t get there first. (craigslist.org, via Wonkette; pic via voteforbreakfast.com)

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If you”ve ever wondered what it takes to work your way into the pants of certain Fleshbot contributors, here”s a hint—find your local Apple store … fast. (Don”t worry, Windows fans. Some of us are still PC compatible.) (Gizmodo)

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Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

Chloe and Melissa, both 18, are interviewed by Brandon Iron, age 42. They have vocal fry and he has an erection.

“What”s it like being 18?” “It”s nice.” “You”re tanning with shoes on…” “Yeah. It”s nice.”

You can imagine where it goes from there!!! Read more after the gap.

. . .

The girls meet a couple of fellows and, to their credit, neither gasp in horror or run from the room. Don”t get us wrong; old isn”t bad. But we know how the Fleshbot West interns respond with eyerolls and gumsmacks when we ask them to “dial” a phone number for us.

The joy we felt about this new series has been dampened somewhat by the presence of people who aren”t double the age of the talent in some scenes, but, in the case of Jake Malone and Neomi Rose (he teaches her how her hair can be used as a handle), we almost have a “She Is A Third of My Age” pairing. God bless them both.

This is Melanie Scott. She just showed up for an audition.

So here”s where we got suspicious. The delightful Hollie Stevens is one of our favorite 26-year-olds. That would mean some of those backwards baseball cap-wearing gangbang guys would have to be 52. I didn”t buy it. That some of them appeared to be twice the age of newcomer Nika doesn”t count. You have to be twice the age of the oldest naked girl in the room.

·Buy “She Is Half My Age 2″ (jadedvideo.com)

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Tue January 22, 2008. 10:16 PM
Free Video Chat and Meet Ups With Real People in .

Some people believe that there are no accidents and that everything happens for reason. A waitress spilling her drink on your jeans on the very same day you “forget” to wear underwear—this is not just random chance or blind luck. This is the universe trying to tell you something. That something is that you need to get laid more and if you want to align the stars in your favor, then finding a bar with hot, but clumsy staff is usually a good way to go.

. . .

·“Hot Waitress” (RedTube)

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